when i allowed myself to feel again, its as if nothing was ever sorted out, and i was back to where i started. don't make things any harder for me.. i might be okay now, but in the long run there's going to be a whole lot more guilt trips, and fixing i need to do. fixing i cant start now. relationships are stupid. surely, we get security and love that we need, nature's design, God's design. but till now i cant appreciate that. its just a fuckload of quarrels, uncertainities of the eventual hurt..whether its from me, or the other party. empty promises, dreaming of a future that wouldnt happen, and what not.? its scary to commit. nothing lasts, at the age of 18. its difficult to believe that love is based on loyalty.. sweetness. even religion. its just..more than that.. right? perhaps it'll just last a couple of years, then wear off. i dont want mistakes no more. everyone changes, to move on. LEARN. stay single, go ahead and have flings.